The first week of teaching has come and gone. Now, I'm halfway through this week, wondering where the time is going. Teaching English is my medium but my purpose is to build relationships where I can live out my faith in Jesus. I might need to post this around my house to remember exactly what it is I'm doing here. In the hours that I spent last week preparing lessons, I caught myself wondering just how much time I should use to plan when my goal is building relationships. I'm told that I'll get faster at planning. Grace.
I'm giving myself grace too in the area of rest. On Friday, I was so exhausted it was impossible to keep my brain straight. I thought I was past jet lag, but it just takes so much energy to live in a foreign country. I hear and see Japanese ALL the time. Today, I talked with a friend on Skype (by the way, if you have it, my name is millie.michael) and had a hard time jump starting my speach. My brain is so used to speaking English slowly and in short phrases-with no slang. You would think speaking less would save energy, but somehow that's not the case. Grace.
I'm not sure when I became such a perfectionist. I've got this weird combination personality where I've got a little of everything. Sometimes I'm so uptight about things, I can drive other people batty (Oh, Lord those people at Seattle's Best Coffee are probably still cursing my name!!!). Other times, I can be totally flexible and spontaneous. I have a hard time not doing something "right" or "good." I hate criticism from others but find myself dishing heaping servings on myself. So, this is another area where grace is needed. I teach 17 different classes in a week. If one of them is less than "perfect," I have to move on and remember my true purpose of being here. Grace.
So, this is what I'm thinking today on my day off. Tomorrow is another day, another opportunity, another chance for grace.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Thanks so much for sharing. Isn't it strange how hard it is to give ourselves grace?! I get trapped in figuring out the balance between too much and too little myself.
Also, after living with you for a year I don't think you drove me batty...unless that is what I am now and don't even know it. =)
Grace is always there. Blessings on your continued work!
J.P. and Aimee
i love your honesty and openness, millie. you and i are so similar. my personality is just like yours, a combination of perfection and laid back. i too struggle with criticism (constructive criticism is just as hard to take as other kinds). yet i am my own worst critic. one of my favorite times with ken kalisch was sitting in his office frustrated and crying because i thought i wasn't doing well as the retreat coordinator. he just looked at me and simply said, "of course you're not perfect. no one is." he said it so matter of factly and gently. it was one of the moments my soul soared. i pray you will be able to let go too whenever the desire to be perfect rises up.
Post a Comment