pressed but not crushed

The tears come at odd times now. I feel like I'm going through a hard break up after leaving Japan. I've avoided looking at pictures, talking too much about it and haven't put together my final newsletter. I just don't know what to say. I rewatched my birthday videos tonight and the the tears came. This is just a hard time and I feel like a crazy person. I've never been so emotional and topsy turvy. I don't like feeling like this and dragging my close friends and family through this crazy mess with me. I was thinking the other night as I was recalling any memorized scripture that I could that I just don't know what I would do without Jesus in my life. If I couldn't cry out to the Lord to steady my shaky knees, what in the world would I do?? What do people do when they have no lasting hope to hold on to? I can't even imagine.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:8-9)