missing malaysia

Next week, my Asian Access buddies will be living it up in Malaysia for our annual spring retreat. This year is a special celebration marking our mission's 40th anniversary! Being the youngest child that I am, I'll admit I'm feeling a little left behind on this side of the ocean! But, I'll be celebrating here in TN as my brothers and sisters thank God for His faithfulness in using Asian Access to extend the transforming power of the gospel in Asia!

Does anybody know of any good allergy remedies? Spring in TN is kicking my butt! Or rather, my nose, ears, and throat! I hear that eating honey from local bees is the way to do it...

I started my new part-time job at Borders last week. I'll be a barista when the new cafe opens in April. It seems like that's all I've been doing recently: starting and ending new jobs. Ah yes, the life of a 20-something. Don't envy me, my mid-life friends. I heard someone say once that we are expected in our 20's to make the most important decisions of our lives with the least amount of life experience. So not fair! Let's all agree that retirement should be after high school, then college can come when we're around 65. Sound like a plan?

Ouch...

aching backs...that's what 2 hours of yard work and and hour and a half in the smallest attic ever will give you!

My days are filled with "little" projects that keep me busy. It's good to work with my hands, raking last fall's leaves that have been keeping our spring flowers warm and cozy all winter. I love spring, don't you?! The imagery of new life and resurrection that come along with Easter. I was thinking a lot about that as I was raking, pretty aggressively. I was afraid I would damage the tender shoots but I knew that there wasn't much else to be done but to use some force to get rid of all the junk. Life imitates nature...another living parable.

I'm excited that for the first time since I was in high school, all of my books are in the same place at the same time! How could I keep such good friends in boxes, covered in dust for so long! I have a big sense of accomplishment having put together the bookshelf myself. Yeah, girlpower! I even used tools! :)

Has anyone seen The Guardian? I admit the previews left me kinda cold. It just looked like another macho action flick...but I have to tell you that I'm really impressed. Basic idea: it's about the Coast Guard. The motto of the Coast Guard is "So that others may live." Sound familiar? At the end there's a narrative about a "Fisher of Men" that saves people from boat wreckage. It got me thinking about the picture I had in my head from all those Sunday School lessons about Jesus asking those fishermen to join him and become fishers of men. My family's big into fishing...I know how sharp those hooks are. Ask my cat, who became an innocent victim of an unfortunate lure catastrophe (hehe, sorry!). Anyway, I always had this picture that Christians were walking around with fishing poles in their hands ready to cast out and snag unsuspecting heathens. Ouch!

This movie gave me another picture: we are all shipwrecked in a massive catastrophe called life. We're going to drown if we don't get some help. There is one who risked his life for us so that we may live.

How beautiful is that?

for my Mom

Shortly after arriving, my mom was permanently laid-off of her job. This is a mixed blessing because she was having to drive so long everyday to Nashville and back to Clarksville. The obvious downside is that she has no job. We've had some good catching up time with lots of furniture moving, trips to Kroger, finding the local library and celebrating my sister-in-law's birthday.

Mom could use your prayers for this uncertain time. Unemployment doesn't necessary give anyone a morale boost! I'm thankful that God brought me here just in time. We're trying to get healthy and whole together, and the mutual encouragement has been just the right thing for me and for her too. Pray that I will find the best way to love my Dad. It's a hard thing to do since he has become a complete stranger to me in the last 4 years.

Yes, indeed God does have a plan for us. A plan to prosper us and NOT to harm us. A plan of HOPE and future. He will not despise a humble heart poured out before him.

Continue to bend my will to Yours, Lord.

Amy Wingfield! Where are you?!

Amy Wingfield!!!
How do I get in touch with you? I've been thinking about you so much since Urbana! I jumped onto your Xanga for a quick catch-up and remembered how much I really liked you when I first met you! We're both INFPs!! That explains our soulful gazing into space and deep sighs during introspective thinking. :) Remember what I told you: I need people like you in my life!

transplanting

After a year in the Chicago area, I have once again uprooted and returned to my parents home in Tennesee. I'm here for a short time, as I keep telling myself, but not really sure when things for Japan will fall into place. I'm taking some time out to heal in different areas of my life--first things first.

I'm also here to be a good daughter and help my family out. My Dad's health has slowly been declining for a number of years and my Mom's struggling to keep herself together and the family too. I'm here to relieve some of that pressure for her and to have some good times with my Dad that I wouldn't otherwise have in Chicago.

It was a really tough decision of which I'm still questioning, but trusting that the Lord is here in TN with me.

I said goodbye to good friends in Wheaton last week in a hurry. It was heartbreaking to tell my residents at Windsor that I was leaving. Those dear, dear people have stolen a piece of my heart these last 6 months!

The last thing I did in Wheaton was participate in a worship service at my church with good friends. It was an amazing thing to stand and lead in worship songs that with words that hold deep Truth in the midst of darkness and pain.

And, yes Chris...you finally made the blog!!!



This was taken after the Worship Circle on Saturday. Chris and Megan have been huge cheerleaders of mine this last year. I thank God for giving me these two who inspire me to love Jesus more. Thanks, Chris and Megan! We are truly kindred spirits!

bringing in the New Year

Here's a taste of Urbana. What an amazing time this was to bring in the New Year in praise and adoration of God and His power to turn our lives around!


I wish you could see the view that I had up in the nosebleed seats. Thousands of digital cameras were on to capture this moment. Glad I found this one!

It's a 2 minute clip of the New Year's countdown. Towards the end, you can see just how big 22,000 people is.
Enjoy!

more urbana photos

We gathered together the first night for some
yummy BBQ and talk about our hopes for Urbana.

The next day, we all put together our exhibit display.

The finished product and a satisfied team.

One of the meals served to the delegates was a corn porridge for the purpose of sharing in the experience of those around the world who don't have the excess amount of food that we have in the US.

This is what I spent a lot of my time doing: sharing my passion for Japan and Jesus with other people. We're praying that at least 10 people

will come to Japan as CPAs (church planting associates)

from this Urbana.

St. Louis is known as the gateway to the west. If you stand on the other side (from our Asian Access home office in San Dimas, CA) it's the gateway to the East. ;) dorky, but true!

Come to Japan!!!

urbana photos

Me and Kari

Do notice that Kari is really cool because she has an I-Pod. Now that I have a laptop...hmmm.

I'm beginning to notice a theme in my pictures...

My mouth is often WIDE open!!!

me and Peter sporting our A2 wear

Our fearless leaders in a psychedelic trance.

Seriously, the lighting is way weird.

At least I'm not the only with this mouth problem!

Robert and Angela

Isn't this inviting? You know you wanna...

Of course, the classic Japanese pose...

post Urbana post

whew! What a whirlwind! Did this Urbana thing actually happen?

I take a while to process things, so I don't know how coherent these thoughts will be. But, it's worth a try...

I ended up staying in the hotel with my A2 family which was a HUGE blessing. This gave me the opportunity to not only pick on Robert more, but to bond with all the CPAs, Emi, Peter, and Jeff. Especially Emi, who was my roomie for the week... "It's 6:20 a.m. , my friend."

It was a mixture for disaster for an introvert like me: little sleep, TONS of people (22,000!!!), talking to strangers, snacking 24-7. Still, my soul soaked up the times of studying Ephesians in the morning and worshiping so loudly that my voice was cracking and I didn't care who heard me! I find myself singing those songs over and over in my head.

One of the most memorable lessons that I packed up and brought back to Wheaton came from a conversation I had with someone who stopped by our Asian Access booth. A young woman from Mexico came by and asked about our mission. I told her about the need for missionaries in Japan. She was shocked to hear that there are fewer than 1% of Japanese Christians in Japan. She wanted to hear more and to receive information from us. She told me that her church in Mexico may be interested in sending a team to Japan with J-Teams. It was my turn to be shocked. I know that the face of missions has changed; I've read books and heard speakers talk about this. "The U.S. to the Rest" is no longer the typical model. There are more missionaries being sent from Brazil than the U.S. Even though I've heard this before, I've never had anyone standing in front of me telling me that this was true. She is a Mexican missionary and God is using her for His good purposes.

There were a lot of people that don't look like me at Urbana. A lot of people that don't dress like me. A lot of people that don't speak my language.

And still, there we were, in one voice, singing in Korean, Spanish, French and English. Worshiping the One God who loves a broken world and wants all of us to have a hand in extending His healing love!

What a joy!

searching

After a 2 hour delay at the airport, I made it to Nashville, TN for Christmas with the parents. They have moved again, which means I came "home" to a new house that I've never been to before. Fortunately, one of my brothers (Joe) lives right down the road so it doesn't feel like I'm in a completely foreign land. In all honesty, it feels more natural to be here than the last place. Joe has been working on book shelves that will be Christmas presents for my mom and his wife. He came over the first day I was here to see if I was bored and take me on a ride around the country side to drop off presents for his customers. I loved that he wanted to show me the work he's done on the houses (he has his own lawn service business), and I "ohhed" and "awed" with sincere pride. I love that guy!

It's been this search for home and belonging that I've been on the last couple of months. Being up in the air with plans for Japan for over a year has been really unsettling. I really can't stand the question, "so, when do you leave for Japan?" because I have no idea how to answer it. I really can't be angry with people for asking--it's a natural question for those who know about my calling to Japan. But, I'm feeling so much pressure and demands on myself that this question is at times too overwhelming.

I found some video footage from my trip to Japan in 2004 tonight. Watching myself and my students that I taught in Japan really helped me to remember how much I still want to be there. I still can't explain it very well. It's more of this nostalgia of a land that is both so foreign and familiar that I'm wowed by it. The mystery of the anticipated adventure... I hear a lot of people are let down by their expectations, but still, I can't let go of a hope for finding a new world. Maybe I have some unhealthy motivations? Who knows... But I do know this: If I waited to have a pure motive for everything I did, I would never do anything.